What's in a Name?
by Pigma the Great
Summary: What REALLY goes down when you give the protagonists silly meme names.


T'was a dark and stormy night because how else are you supposed to begin a story?

A blonde haired human women made of flesh whose skeleton was NOT visible could be found running up the stairs of her small house.

For some reason she and her husband slept in the kitchen/living room while her lazy, teenage son had the entire second floor to himself. She approached her son's bed and violently shook him, "SANS! WAKE UP YOU LAZY BONE-HEAD", she screamed at the top of her lungs. Something her son didn't have. No one knows why the Undertale family had a skeleton as a kid, they just did.

"ugh, five more minutes, kay?" the grumpy teenager muttered, trying to ignore his mother's obnoxious screeching.

"WE ARE ABOUT TO GET KILLED BY A BOULDER OR SOMETHING!!!", Dora explained calmly.

Sans just looked at his mother, "eh, i kinda wanna die, though", he shrugged and rolled over, trying to continue his nightly nap.

Dora didn't really care what her son wanted and just dragged Sans out of his bed, "have you got everything you want to take?", she asked as she pulled her child down the staircase.

Sans blinked at his mother, "you physically pulled me out of bed, there is literally no way i could have gotten anything", he reminded her.

"I wouldn't have let you take anything anyway", Dora admitted as her son's skull was dragged across the cold, hard floor.

"then why did you ask?", Sans questioned, still too lazy to start walking on his own.

Just as they got to the door, Kyle walked in, "Sans! Dora! Wanna go check out the boulder? It's really cool".

Dora threw her hands in the air, dropping Sans, "what? No! It's gonna kill us! We have to get out".

Kyle sighed, "but being killed is the best part!"

Dora growled at him, as all good stereotypical mothers do, "you and Sans need to snap out of this whole 'crippling depression' thing you've got going on".

Kyle's eyes widened, "holy crap, I'm suddenly cured! I actually want to live now! I want everyone to live, in fact". He grabbed Dora's hand and ran off shouting about how he was going to evacuate the town and save everyone.

Unfortunately he forgot about Sans. Dora's miracle cure didn't work on him like it did on his father. But even though he still wanted to die, he didn't want to die _alone_ so he got up and left.

Just outside his house Sans met his best friend, Cory Baxter! Yes, someone he could wait around to die with. Most people would be suspicious when the white Baxter family randomly had a black child but thats not _nearly _the strangest birth in Vale so Ms Baxter's secret life remained a secret.

Sans greeted his friend, "sup, cory".

"Sans! I was just looking for you! We got to evacuate before the boulder comes" said Cory. Damn, Cory wanted to live, too. It looked like Sans was evacuating after all.

The skeleton sighed, "alright, let's go".

Cory tilted his head, "don't you want to leave or something? Sans, you a busta!" He said, triggering a mysterious laugh track.

The two friends made their way to the town plaza when the familiar voice of a certain blue hedgehog got their attention, "oh, snap! My brother! That's no good!" She said.

In the river was Ridley, Sonic's too big brother. Ridley liked the river as it was the only place his giant dragon body could comfortably fit. Sans and Cory approached Sonic.

"sup, sonic", Sans greeted her.

The now cheerful Kyle was on the deck helping Sonic and Ridley's human parents call their too big son from the water, "Ridley, watch out the boulder is coming! Oh my god he has air pods in he can't hear us oh god oh fuck", the adults panicked.

And then the boulder fell. For whatever reason it kept getting stuck in mid air for a few seconds. The boulder eventually hit the deck, making a sickening **C R U N C H **on impact.

Everyone just kinda sat around in awkward silence for a bit. Sans's eyesockets did that creepy thing where the lights disappeared. Suddenly, Sans stood up ran away, possibly because his left eyesocket suddenly caught fire. Cory followed his best friend. Sonic was too upset about her quills getting wet to want to follow them.

The two friends bumped into some strangers, they reminded them of Jessie and James. They were talking about something but Sans figured it would never be important so he didn't listen. But he may as well have as they accused the boys of eavesdropping anyway.

The blue one's eyes narrowed, "the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch?" Oh, god, it was the Navy Seal Copypasta! The power of the copypasta was too much for the boys and they fainted before it was even half over. The Team Rockett bootlegs realized they may have accidentally committed child murder and skipped town, making a note to use a less powerful copypasta next time...

**Author's Note:** Incase you're wondering this story is going to cover both of the originals. If I decide to do Dark Dawn it'll be a separate fic. I will never do Golden Sun 4 because Nintendo will never make a fourth game. If someone can correctly guess who Ivan, Mia, Sheba and Piers will be I will give them no meaningful reward but they'll probably get a brief shoutout or something. k thanks bye


End file.
